FROM DOMINATION TO PARTNERSHIP

“There is no big or small, no short or tall,
No best or worst, no blessed or cursed,
No dirty or clean, no cause to be mean,
No rich or poor, no reason for war,
We have more than enough in the story of love.
Each is for all of us, and all are for each of us.
This is the wisdom this new story teaches us.” 

- Cory and the Seventh Story

 Neither revolution nor reformation can ultimately change a society. Rather you must tell a new powerful tale, one so persuasive that it sweeps away the old myths and becomes the preferred story … one so inclusive that it gathers all the bits of our past and our present into a coherent whole, one that even shines some light into the future so that we can take the next step…. If you want to change a society, then you have to tell an alternative story.  - Ivan Illich

We are so used to hearing about violence, and for some of us, experiencing it, that we may never stop long enough to think that it doesn’t have to be this way. Yes, conflict may be an inevitable outcome of bringing seven billion (or even just two) souls into proximity, with all our competing desires and perceptions. Yes, conflict may be a fact of life. But escalating violence does not have to be. 

We can better imagine a more peaceful future if we come to terms with how violence became so much a part of our past. In our books Cory & the Seventh Story and The Seventh Story: Us, Them, and the End of Violence, a poet names six common but self-destructive stories, and invites people to live into a new seventh story that flips the scripts of the first six.

A domination story:  us over them

A revolution story: us overthrowing them

An isolation story: us staying apart from them

A purification story: us cleansing ourselves of them

An accumulation story: us having things that they don’t

A victimization story: us being more important than them because of our competitive suffering…

And a Seventh Story, a story of liberation and reconciliation.

The first story we call the domination story - where I seek peace and security for myself by ruling over you. We’ve all seen this story in the world - from the Roman Empire to oppressive political regimes today, to the way some employers treat their employees, how some people treat their families, and how some of us treat even our friends.

We believe that, as oppositional energy always recreates itself, oppressive stories need to be replaced by better ones. Violence can’t cast out violence, and we won’t overcome domination by more domination; and the alternative to bad leadership is not no leadership. The answer to authoritarianism, and to dominating figures who seek their own selfish ambition and that of their tribe, is leadership-as-service to the common good: of the earth and all its creatures, of each other, and of ourselves. 

TODAY: Where do you see the domination story in your world - in your home, in your town or city, in your country?  

If all domination were replaced with leadership serving the common good, what would be different? 

What is one step you could take in each area (home, town or city, and country) to replace dominating leadership with leadership that serves the common good?

We invite you to consider these questions alone, or in groups with other like-minded people. We call these groups Porch Circles, and you can find tips on how to form one here.